How to Win Over Your Filipina Girlfriend’s Parents (A Guide for Foreigners)

I’ve seen foreign men dating Filipinas who failed to keep the relationship because of one thing — their partner’s parents didn’t like them.

Family plays a major role in Filipinos’ lives, especially in relationships. Most parents want their daughters’ boyfriend to work hard on earning their trust before deciding if they’re worth their daughter’s hand.

While many Filipinos adopt more Western practices, some families still follow the traditional stages of courtship. Whether you’re confident or not, it still pays to know what things you need to do to gain their trust. So, if you want a Filipina’s parents’ approval, here are some things to keep in mind:

Don’t flaunt your wealth.

Flaunt your love, not your money.

One of the toxic stereotypes about Filipinos is that they are mukhang pera or extortionists or gold diggers. This is one of the biggest insults you can throw at them, especially those who work hard to earn money and provide for their families.

When you visit a Filipino household, don’t bring expensive gifts. You may feel good about it, but they won’t. Instead, you can bring them some local wine as Filipinos love to drink. If you know how to cook, you can also prepare some food such as sweet spaghetti, lumpia, or pancit. This way, they will appreciate your effort to bring or make them something they will enjoy.

Don’t be a slob.

No one likes a messy person. If you wear a dirty shirt, smell bad, or leave your dishes unattended after eating, expect a bad impression from a Filipina’s parents. So, make an effort to look and smell good. Show up clean and well-groomed and offer to do some work while you’re in their house. You can offer to carry or bring something to the dinner table or wash the dishes. Help out in any way you can.

Be truthful with your answers.

Why do you like our daughter?

What kind of job do you do?

What are your future goals?

What are your intentions with our daughter?

These are some questions that they might ask you, so come prepared. Don’t try to puff your answers only because you want to make them like you. Trust me, they’ll know when you’re being untruthful.

You can gain their trust by being honest with them. No matter what the situation is, always answer their questions with honesty. Doing so lets you know if they accept you for who you truly are, so it’s a win-win for both sides.

Learn the gestures of respect.

This is the barest of the bare minimums. Without this, there’s no chance to make a Filipina’s parents like you. One of the most important gestures of respect includes pagmamano or taking the hand of the elders and pressing it on your forehead. When doing this, you should say mano po which means “your hand please.”

When in doubt, ask a Filipina.

Filipinas know their families better than you do. Don’t hesitate to ask them about their parents and some tips to help you win them over. This way, you’ll gain more confidence in meeting them because you already know what to do and what they expect from you.