Things You Should Know about Common Filipino Marriage Traditions
Filipino culture as we know it today is a result of the influence of Filipino ethnic culture, Spanish colonialization, and Western culture. These influences have given rise to a unique blend of Western and Asian values that are seen in everything from food, art, and customs.
One of these customs is marriage. While there is no single template for a Filipino wedding, Filipinos have, over the years, crafted unique traditions that are still practiced today.
Here are some of the commonly practiced wedding traditions:
BEFORE THE WEDDING
Pamamanhikan
Pamamanhikan is where the family of the groom pays a visit to the bride’s house. The groom will first have to gain the approval of the parents of the bride.
If approval is given, this will be the time that they will discuss the fundamentals of the wedding plan, such as the wedding date, the guests they would invite, and the wedding expenses.
Traditionally, the groom and his parents bear the brunt of the wedding costs. But these days, the bride would help with the expenses of their wedding preparations and ceremonies.
But before pamamanhikan comes the paninilbihan (servitude). The soon-to-be groom will do some household chores such as pag-iigib (fetching water) and pagsisibak (chopping firewood).
Filipino elders believe that it’s a way for the groom to show that he is a responsible man. This is also an opportunity for the groom to demonstrate his readiness for marriage.
Some say that paninilbihan is a dying tradition. But in certain regions in the Philippines, there are still a few who practice this kind of tradition.
Despedida de Soltera
Despedida de Soltera is a Spanish phrase that literally translates to “farewell to singlehood.”
The soon-to-be husband and wife can also choose to have pre-wedding celebrations such as bachelor parties and bridal showers. These are, of course, Western-influenced traditions.
The bridal shower is usually prepared by the bride’s friends the day before the wedding. This is primarily intended for females. Meanwhile, bachelor parties, or “stag parties,” are all-male parties planned by the best man. It’s what they called the last day of the freedom celebration, signifying that the man is about to enter married life and that a lot of things will change after the marriage.
Kasal Kumpisal
Kasal means wedding, and kumpisal means confession. It’s about coming “clean” before the ceremony.
This is a moral obligation required by the church for Catholic couples. A few days prior to the wedding, the soon-to-be-weds are asked to have their final confessions with a priest as single individuals. The confession serves as a spiritual cleansing for the sins committed before the sacrament of marriage.
DURING THE WEDDING CEREMONY
Veil and Cord
Godparents drape a ceremonial lace veil over the bride’s head and the groom’s shoulders. This means that they’re now clothed in one. It’s often fashioned in the shape of the number 8 to represent an infinity sign. The infinity sign is the most common and popular symbol for everlasting love.
The 13 Coins
The groom gives 13 coins called the arrhae to their partner as a promise of prosperity. The coins are tucked into a handkerchief. Then the wedding sponsors and godparents will hand the coins over individually to the groom and bride.
This tradition is usually associated with Hispanic culture, which used to be a Roman custom of breaking gold or silver. Half will be kept by the groom, and the other half will be kept by the bride as a pledge of marriage.
Lighting the Candle
The unity candle ceremony involves three candles. One will be held by each partner (representing separate family candles), and the other will stand alone. The candle that stands alone symbolizes the union of your families.
AFTER THE WEDDING CEREMONY
Throwing of Rice Grains
After the ceremony, the groom and bride walk together as they exit the church. During this time, guests will stand at the corner of each aisle with bags of rice in hand, ready to throw or shower the newlyweds.
This form of tradition is a way of giving couples wishes for happiness and prosperity throughout their lives as husband and wife.
Sabitan
Sabitan is also known as the money dance. During the wedding reception, the bride and groom perform a ceremonial first dance. While the couple is happily dancing, the guests will take time to pin paper bills on their clothes.
Eating “malagkit” rice
Malagkit is a Tagalog word for sticky. The newlyweds are served a small plate of kalamay, or sticky rice cakes. This symbolizes sticking together throughout their married life. Malagkit rice also symbolizes success and togetherness. It represents the wholeness of your marriage.
WEDDING ATTIRE
Barong Tagalog
The Barong Tagalog is usually a see-through shirt worn by males over a plain shirt. It’s an embroidered and light loose long-sleeved that is made up of light materials. It is made from pineapple fiber, hemp, and jusi (cotton) cloth woven together by hand into squares, which are then sewn together to form a seamless whole.
This suit keeps the men cool during the wedding because it’s cooler than wearing a tuxedo considering the climate in the Philippines.
The barong is the traditional attire option for weddings, as well as other formal events. Many believe that a man who wears Barong Tagalog is a man with dignity and elegance.
White Wedding Dress
In many societies, the color white represents purity and a woman’s chastity. Generations ago, many Filipinos believed that only Filipinas who are still virgins can wear a white bridal dress.
Today, these beliefs have faded. It has never been written into law that a Filipina cannot wear a white bridal gown if she does not adhere to society’s antiquated beliefs.
In most weddings, Filipinas wear white dresses, even if they had a child prior to the wedding. The white dress does not define a woman. However, it represents the woman’s willingness to commit for the rest of her life.
On Marrying a Filipina
If you’re set to marry a Filipino, you do want to give her a wedding to remember. Having a bit of knowledge of common Filipino customs is a good place to start.
If you think that giving her the grandest wedding can make her the happiest, then do it. But don’t pressure yourself if you can’t give her the perfect wedding. At the end of the day, it’s always your love and sincerity that she’s looking for.
